


Don't Sleep Forever

by JessiMeow



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Coma, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-05 01:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1801033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessiMeow/pseuds/JessiMeow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan has been in a coma and Gavin doesn't know how to deal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Sleep Forever

6 months. 6 months Ryan had been in a coma. Or, asleep, as Gavin liked to call it. Gavin knew only what the doctors told him. His lover was in a coma and it was unlikely that he would ever come out of it. Although he’d held out hope, that hope was withering away into nothing but desperation.

At the news of no improvement, the anger had welled up inside him. After hanging up the phone, Gavin had thrown it with all his might at the wall. How could Ryan do this to him? HOW? WHY WOULDN’T HE WAKE UP? He smashed his clenched fist into the wall and it crumbled beneath his knuckles. Again and again he punched that wall, screaming with every impact. “WHY, RYAN. WHY WON’T YOU COME BACK TO ME?” and it would eventually end up with the brown haired boy curled up in a ball on their…his bed crying.

Not all days were like that though. In the beginning he’d sat by Ryan for days straight. Holding his hand, whispering loving words into the other’s ear. He’d even read half of the first Harry Potter book to him, knowing he’d already read it but knowing he didn’t have the concentration to read anything harder. It was taxing. The nurses let him stay overnight sometimes even though he wasn’t family. They pitied him. Normally that would bother him but nothing else invaded his mind but Ryan Ryan Ryan.

Sometimes he’d get angry at Ryan. For leaving him, or for not just letting go so he could be in peace. 6 months after the car accident that left the older man in this coma and the damn idiot was still fighting.

The beeping of the heart machine nearly drove Gavin insane. Sometimes it’d speed up and Gavin would raise his head instantly, his eyes finding the blond man’s face, praying silently to whatever god exists that he would see those blue eyes opening. But they didn’t and a few seconds later the beeping would return to normal. Gavin’s heart would sink to the ground and his grip would tighten on Ryan’s hand.

When he did finally leave the hospital it was always the same routine. Linger for minutes longer than planned with a hopeful gaze, sigh, lean down and place a gentle kiss on warm lips, stand, and leave. And he’d come back the next morning with it looking exactly as he’d left it, with eyes droopier than before after another restless night.

Gavin himself was admitted to the same hospital overnight after collapsing in the hallway outside Ryan’s room. Lack of nutrition and dehydration. The doctors practically force fed him. And he laid there, eye fixed on the ceiling, not speaking, not eating. He left the next day, fully intending on the cycle being the same.

\---

A year passes since the accident. Than a 4 more months. Multiple times doctors ask if he wants to unplug him. Let his brain die out. He shakes his head rapidly.

“It gets more expensive.” They said. He didn’t care.   
“One more month,” He begged. They agreed.

\---

 

One day. One day before the machine keeping his love alive was unplugged. Gavin stares at the bottle of pills in his hand. His depression pills. Happy pills, he called them. A month ago he’d been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. Depression at it’s finest. And now, it was time to go. He’d meet Ryan in heaven. He didn’t think about the consequences. Geoff wouldn’t care. Nor would Michael or Ray or Jack. They gave up on him a long time ago. He slowly popped off the cap. He dumped the pills into his palm and counted them. 38. Nineteen times more than he was supposed to take. That would do it.

He took his beer in the other hand, popped the pills 4 at a time, threw his head back, chugged some beer, swallowed, and repeated until all 38 pills were gone.

Everything was fuzzy. Maybe it was from the beer or the pills or the sadness or maybe all three. But now he felt nothing. He thought of Ryan. He thought of seeing Ryan soon in heaven. Or hell. Or wherever. He thought of dying. He wasn’t scared of dying anymore. He couldn’t be. He curled up on his…their bed, closed his eyes, and fell asleep. Forever.

\---

His head hurt. Oh, god, his head hurt. There was muttering. Muffled gasps. Beeping from a monitor beside his head. Someone was squeezing his hand. He was laying on something. His bed? A…hospital bed? He wiggled his toes. Working. Clenched his fists; working. He cleared his throat, yeah, that worked too. He grunted and opened his eyes. An audible gasp escaped his lips as Ryan smiled at him.

“R-ryan..? I thought you were…”   
“Asleep?” Gavin could only nod.  
“I woke up. About 3 hours after they brought you in here by ambulance.” Gavin looked around, blinking at the bright lights of his room. An IV was in his arm. He’d had breathing tubes in his nose at some point, he guessed, judging by the oxygen can nearby. His stomach ached and he knew that it had been pumped. Figures.  
“How long was I…”   
“Five days.” Gavin’s head fell back on the pillow and his eyes closed tightly. The hand not grasped in Ryan’s rose to rub his eyes.   
“Hey, beats almost a year and a half.”

He opened his eyes to gaze at the blond man. Damn, how he’d missed those blue eyes. He wanted to lean up and kiss the man, for hours probably, but he remained still.   
“What happened after you woke up? Any…any damage?”   
“Minor memory loss. There’s holes here and there. They had to remind me of your name. Other than that, no. Not that we know of anyway. My brain just wanted time to heal, I guess.”

Gavin nodded and Ryan smiled at him. He slowly leaned forward and their lips met. Gavin sucked in a breath through his nose and his left hand rose to cup the older man’s face. Ryan pulled back and grinned at him widely.   
“I missed that.”   
“Me too, Gavin. Me too.” He fell quiet.  
“Promise me you won’t ever try again.”   
“Try what again?” Ryan gave him a pointed look.   
“Gavin…”   
“Oh. I…I promise. I’m sorry. You were just. And they. Unplug. And i couldn’t…handle…losing you and i’m sorr-”

He was silenced by another kiss. It lingered this time.

“Gavin. I understand. Just promise.”   
“I promise, Ryan, as long as you promise never go to into a damn coma again.” Gavin shot him a reassuring smile. His head throbbed.   
“I love you, idiot.” Ryan kissed him for the third time. He just couldn’t get enough.  
"I love you too, Rye Bread.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! /.\


End file.
